2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
I have learned so much from my past relationships.. Two of the major things i’ve learned are: The importance of knowing who you are and the importance of allowing your heart to be healed before seeking a relationship.
I have been single for roughly 2 years and what I have come to know about myself in this time changed my life forever. It took me ‘getting to know’ the wrong guys and getting hurt during this time of singleness for me to really take a step back and evaluate my heart. I had to come to a place where I vowed to lay down relationships until my heart was in the right place. My continuous prayer was for God to seal my heart and to not awaken love until the time is right.
In these 2 years I have experienced the highs and the lows of being single. I experienced the joys of being able to pick up and travel without hesitation and the torment of being at a friend’s baby shower. It gets real sometimes.. Especially for those who have had miscarriages, failed marriages, or relationships. You see what could have been your life and sometimes you grieve the loss of a relationship or dream. I had to come to a place where I pushed my pride aside and admitted that I was grieving the loss of what was my dream for my future. In that moment of mourning God gave me something I never would have dreamed of. He gave me wholeness, peace and hope for my future. I learned that my entire life I was searching for something.. I was searching for what unconditional love truly looked like.
I think of how the sand of the shore longs for a touch from the ocean; that’s how the depth of my heart thirsted after the waves of God’s unconditional love – calling Him to wash over me.. I needed a touch of His love to satisfy the emptiness that I made my own. This emptiness told me who I was and what I needed. God desired for me to see beyond what I have always known. God wanted me to see who He says I am.. So I dove.. I dove off of the diving board that was myself and plunged into the unknown of His Fatherly love. I allowed His healing love to become embedded in my soul and become one with me.. I let go of control and said yes to whatever my future holds with Him.
I had no idea how much my relationship with my father impacted the way I viewed men and relationships. I remember one day I was on the edge of a break down and all I wanted was for my dad to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright. My dad being the incredible father that he is, did just that. Because of the abuse my natural reaction was to shut down and lock everyone out, especially my Dad. My father’s words ignited hope, purpose and identity in my heart. He invited me to walk through a process of healing that seemed impossible for me to face at the time. To this day his words bring me to tears. In this moment God showed me my soul was thirsting for something more than a relationship. I was thirsting for true unconditional love… I didn’t need someone in my life to complete me.. The wholeness that my heart was desperately longing for is found in Christ and when I gave up control He delivered me from a place of captivity and pain and took me into the promised land… Freedom..
Singleness and marriage are both gifts from God. Be content and receive what God has for you in this season of your life.. Receive the blessings and healing. God’s faithfulness remains through it all. His love is unfailing…
Beloved ones my prayer for you is that God will shed light on the secret parts of your heart and that you would choose to venture into the unknown with Him… I pray that you would be willing to receive a touch from Him that changes your life forever.