My Pastor challenged my church to take the next seven days and “fast” from social media, movies, well entertainment in general. He asked us to just seek God whole-heartedly and watch what happens..
This is my journey.
Day 1 – Sunday:
I woke up a little confused. I was at a crossroads. . Something I believed was greater than a promise God had for my life presented itself to me. I was lost, bitter and tired of hoping for the impossible. . I began to flirt with the thought of embarking on a path outside of this promise. . Almost like the story of Abraham and Sarah where God promised a child to them, which seemed impossible because Sarah was almost 100! So they took matters into their own hands. . Sarah decided that the best way for her to have a child is for her husband to sleep with her “hand-servant” Hagar in order to bring forth a child. That child was Ishmael. A child outside of God’s promise to Abraham (Click for passage) .. Though Ishmael was still a blessing, he was not the promise that God had for Abraham and this caused quite a bit of chaos.. God showed me I was on the path of creating an Ishmael. . (No, not literally. . .)
I was at a crossroads, on one side there was a path created by God and on the other there was a path I paved myself. . Funny enough, mine seemed almost certain, predictable and “tamable” but God’s path seemed unpaved, uncharted and wild.
In church I asked for prayer about something unrelated and ended up getting more than I bargained for. I cried as the lady prophesied the peace of the Lord over my mind and soul. As she reminded me of the love of the Father, I couldn’t help but release the buried pain my heart felt. I explained to God exactly how impossible and unattainable His promise was, as if He wasn’t the God who “Parted the Red Sea” in my life, many, many times before. . . He reminded me through the service and through an elder in my church that I should not be weary and that He is able to do the impossible. . .
I got home and through conversation with someone close to me, I came to understand why I was constantly at this crossroads. This ran deeper than the promise. . . It was from my past. . . I came to understand that I embraced 20+ years of a prison of broken promises and unfulfilled dreams and goals. When things became too difficult for me I walked away.. I hated the process of waiting and wanting because I felt that if I had to fight for something, it wasn’t worth having.
So, I chose to repent. . . To let go. . . To surrender my preconceived notion for my life. I chose to embark on a journey through the uncharted jungle, one filled with mystery and hope.
My prayer for you today beloved ones is that you will not grow weary in doing good. . . That you would patiently await the promise that God has for your life and if you do not know the promises that God has for you, I pray that He reveals them to you. . . That you begin to dream with Him again. . .
9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.